sorry..

again,
i cudnt forgive myself for hurtin u.

happy mothers' day~

thanks zy for helpin me to buy da cake..
thanks kwan n fuei for deliverin da cake to my house..
thanks for handin the mother days' cake for my mom..
n the bday cake for my beloved didi~

happy mothers' day~
love mommy so much =)
miss home so much =(

insecure

curiosity kills a cat.
insecurity kills a woman.

missing home~

i was sitting in front of lappie..
lazyin around, until i saw these 2 pics..
n tears flow again..


i miss home..
i miss daddy mommy n didi =(

天长地久

有没有一双手，握著了便不轻易放手
有没有一个肩膀，可以倚靠一辈子都有安全感
有没有一场拥抱，紧紧的让两个人再也不分开
有没有一段感情，深深刻在心里一辈子不会忘记
有没有一个人，是你用尽了一生力气还舍不得将他遗忘
天长地久，有多久.............

..........

i dun like to see things i dun wana c...
but y do i owex navigate to those pages n
keeeep lookin at those damn things.. =(

untitled

been thinkin..
if i reli mean so much to u..
n if i reli love u tat much too..
wonderin if we r meant to b..
or we r not..
i know u've been tryin hard to please me..
n bear with all my childishness..
i know to stand with my terrible attitude n emotions r hard..
i know it all..
or mayb im just tat greedy..
i nid more love...
i cant feel u at times..
perhaps, it's bout the 4162km distance..
a-g-a-i-n..

Darlings~

i remembered some time in year 2006..
i was reading my form5 autograph book in my room..
tears flow as i went thru one by one,
each of the messages tat frens wrote for me..
memories tat we had, those sweet times..
so much pain tat i felt when i tot our frenships changed..

dad came in da room seein me cryin..
sat down at my bed side n asked bout da matter of me cry..
i said i miss da times i used to had in form4 form5..
dad wiped away my tears n said:
dun b silly, frenships seldom lasts..
frens owex go in n out of ur lives..
tats part of ur growing up process..
as time goes by, u will meet different frens..

deep inside i know, n i think it is same for my gals n boys..
we all appreciate wat we used to hav, our frenships..
moments of truths hav been shared,
our tears n laughters, ups n downs..

it's year 2009 now..
few years hav gone by..
n i remembered da few days before i left kL,
i was tokin to mom about my frens again..
she said shes reli glad n touched tat i met such frens..
genuine frens..
frens who r so willing to sacrifice for each other..
n mom cried on da day i left,
part of da reasons i know it's not becoz of me..
but seeing da frenship tat i had with u all..
my darlings..

if u look around properly..
i guess not everyone can feel wat we feel..
see wat we see in each other..
we've been thru so much..
n in da end, we'r still so used to being dependant on each other..

to my J darlings..
remember how we used to dream bout our future?
bout not gettin married n stayed together in our 'gu po wu'?
even if tats just a silly dream,
i believe we all hope our lives still hav each other,
even if years go by..

n to my other darlings, gals n boys..
i appreciate havin u all in my life,
to lift me up when im down..
to b by my side to share my journey of life..

ter r times when i've not been a reli good fren..
but no matter wat,
i hope n wish tat our frenship lasts till da end..
i heart u all, n i appreciate u all..

miss u ppl heaps..


BTW!!! I FORGOT TO BRING MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK HERE!!!!!! =(
luckily i still hav my huge farewell card. thanks zy.
n da rest dat signed on it =)

with lots of love <3,
baby jac, tata =)

爱太痛

用笑容来把眼泪催眠
笑不能笑哭不敢哭
人不像人鬼不像鬼


能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了

说好的幸福

i feel sth stabbin on me as i read thru ur blog..
n from ter flashbacks go thru my mind again n again..

it has been quite some time
since da day we got closer to each other.
5th of Sept, when i began to feel, loved.

ter was a time when i felt i've found my destiny.
da person who cud b willing to share with me
every moment in my journey of life.

i like da way u owex put a smile on me.
n da way u taught me so many things.
at da same time makin me feel so small,
n make me feel da urge to learn.
n also, da way u owex guide me thru ups n downs.

i do remember da dreams tat we've talked about.
n some promises tat we've made.
i do remember too, our direction in life.

wonder if it's da 4162km tat brings all da changes.
or is it becoz since da beginnin,
im not standing on a solid ground.

there r moments when i got so confused myself
whether wat i've seen, heard n felt r for real..
or r those my own illusions n dreams..

talked to my girl da other day,
she told me tat to b separated now
doesnt mean in da later stage of life we wont meet up again.

perhaps its true.
walkin on a different path with u now,
doesnt mean our paths wont cross again..

perhaps i've chosen a path tat walks away from u..
i've no clue wat leads to dat decision.
perhaps now i just wana let go of everythin
n see da world in a different way..

perhaps, too many perhaps..

but this is life.
whereby we get to gain n lose throughout the whole process.
n from ter, we learn.
im sorry for wat i've done to u.
n im truly thankful tat God sent u to light up my path.

我最幸福的事 当过你的天使

那一阵子有你 美得不像现实

可惜爱不是 童话故事
不能够永远 依赖着王子

鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里。
水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里...