again

在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过
难过过了 天晴朗了 我就走


你拯救我的寂寞 我的痛我的梦
在你的面前 我不必保留
还来不及对你说
迟到的我的心动


最后看你在别人怀里
还微笑祝福你....

my journey

it has been exactly 2 weeks since my 1st day of working.

din like it much.

not to say i hate it, either.

dad is right, i knew about all the consequences
of being involved in this industry
long before i decided to take this course.
Since i knew them,
i chose them,
now i have to accept and deal with them.

which equals to---
limited private and family life.

i knew it.

i tot i enjoy these kinda works.
in fact i do.
just tat i din tot i wud prefer to hav family time tat much, too.
n da fact tat i wish to spend time with my loved one..........
suddenly......
somehow makes the job becomes a burden to me..

years ago i've never planned to grow old with anyone,
except my immediate family, or perhaps a few frens..
marriage or even serious relationship never cross my mind..
until sometime in 07 when i realised i cud fall in luv so deeply
tat i wish i cud spend my life with sum1 i luv till da end of time.

well, tat wish with tat sum1 is already vanished,
since long ago i know.
but another unpredicted sum1 appeared...
surprised n shaken me..
n from ter my life is.............being intruded, again.

i know im a lil bit too much.
sudnt bother too much.
sudnt care too much.
after all, im no one.
we wont go on for long, i know.
n tat is also being the reason y i refuse to step further sumtimes...

for im still havin fear...deep inside...

or mayb im contented if we just stay here..
where we can owex reach out for each other,
anytime, anywhere..

lies

The top 3 lies that guys consistently tell and gals still, fall into:

3rd:

Gal: R u listening?
Guy: Yes of coz, im owex listenin to u.


2nd:

Gal: m i fat?
Guy: No dear, u look just nice.





and....





1st:

Gal: r u lying to me?
Guy: No sweetheart, i'll never lie to u. Im owex honest with u.

untitled.

once again baby,
wat makes u think u mean sth this time..
u just dont.

the broken ones, the bleeding wings

the broken wings are jailed
life sentence
in that cold dark place
for the only crime he committed

the broken soul is scattered
with emotions bruised
n spirits battered
for the fall she fell on hard

心動

如果不能夠永遠走在一起
也至少給我們懷念的勇氣
擁抱的權利
好讓你明白
我心動 的痕跡

swimming in self-pity

dun play with jealousy
bcoz u wont know how wrong it cud b.

i dream

When I close my eyes
I think of you
Such a lonely girl
Such a lonely world
When I close my eyes
I dream

**********************

only faith helps you
only trust can do

****************************

I hope to find a little peace of mind
and I just want to know
who can heal those tiny lil broken hearts

****************************************

If we could make it through the darkest night
we'd have a brighter day.
the world I see beyond your eyes
makes me want to stay.

*******************************************************

almost almost almost

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here


almost..
almost is not enough.
im greedy.
i wan more.
but i know i shudnt b asking.

4th..

out of my mind.
i tot im pms-ing.
but period juz ended not long ago.
damn it.
these days i feel so blue.
4th post of da day.
i guess u all know i wont update tis blog,
unless im reli feeling bad.
which means, im in deep shit now.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! =(

学习着长大

原谅我的不够坚强。。。
不断地让自己一直的沉沦。
失去了自己，
找不回来了。。。
可不可以学会勇敢，
坚强的，慢慢地，
一个人走下去。。。

......

i shud hav learnt it earlier.
every guy is the same.
tats da foolest thing bout all gals i think.
always wanted to change a guy.
or influence a guy.
thkin so proudly tat we can make it.
baka. ters nth like tat.
if he can change,
tonnes of gals cud hav changed him long b4 u do,
n if they failed to change him,
wat makes u think u can?
exam is one week away.
yet im letting my god damn emotions to haunt me.

so wrong.

nth feels right at this moment.
i guess ters sth within me tat hasnt changed.
sth really bad i guess.
i wish sumtimes my curiosity just stops ter.
but it owex goes beyond the limitations.
as sayin goes: curiosity kills a cat.
if im da cat, i wud b dead by now.
jacinta lee can u please stop askin things,
n stop findin things out by urself.
knowing too much things is not a gud thing.
sometimes knowin too much wont bring u any gud.
i guess tat guy found his luv now.
i shud b happy for tat.
n hav i found my luv, yet?
it wont b tat soon i guess.
still standin ter, refuse to move on.
for da fear of getting hurted, again.
i duno how strong i cud b to bear it all once again.
i know other than being my parents' precious,
i probably mean nothing to anyone.
yet most of da time i still try to give.
even when i edi hav nth to offer at all,
i'll still b askin: is tat enuf for u?
standin alone, walkin alone.
arms r heavy. knees r weak.
doin things tat i know is wrong.
lovin sum1 tat i know wont b mine.
but i just wont stop ter.
again, im fallin into the same dilemma.
same situation, same sucky situation.
love, n never expect any return.

fairytale, no?

1st off i must b crazy.
i cried watchin high sch musical 3.
how stupid.
but when troy went all da way just to b wif gabriella,
n told her: my prom is where u r.
tears juz spilled out.
i swear i din wan to cry.
but tats how movies define luv.
luv is owex owex downgraded to romance.
media portrays luv as sth which is so nice.
makin each n everyone of us longing for it.
or mayb as time goes by,
as we all grow up n experience on our own,
we find luv the other way round,
most of the time, ugly,
not as perfect as it seems in all fairytales.
n people stop believin in luv.
n start hunting for sth else.
sth like sex, money, status, etc.
n the other day leven told me
luv is all bout dating, accompanyin each other,
n having sex. he said sex is romantic.
tats how media defines sex, romantic.
n as i grown up,
from learnin to love n failing to love,
or even failing to b loved in return,
i wondered if my perspectives to love changed.
quite some time ago kwan said:
"let's not b too pessimistic,
love is still havin the same position with frenship
in my heart now. i still wana find mr. right."
the thing is, how sure u can b tat da gal/guy is mr/ms right.
i believe trustin ur instinct needs courage.
it takes a lot to actually follow ur instinct.
if instinct is tellin u tat him/her is da one.
wud u giv each other a chance?
or step backward n see wats gona happen..
n for me even if life experience is tellin u
tat ters no such thing as true luv in da world,
deep down in everyone's heart,
who doesnt wan to find da right one to love n b loved?
we all wanted fairytale, admit it or not.
if ters a choice, to choose n have a perfect ending,
with the perfect person, i dun c any points in lettin it slips..

rest ur precious eyes..

i just told my classmates today,
time fliesssssssssssssssssssssssssss =.=
wat i remembered was we started our new sem in aug,
n now it is END OF OCTOBER!!! wtf.
i cant even recall wat i hav been doin all these while.
how come time just flies off like tat.
or is it becoz i've grown up now..
mom used to tell me as i get older, time pass faster..
if tats reli the case then it must b reli scary.
imagine im 20 now, n *blink* im gona b 30..
40..50..60..70..80..
oh well, i wana die beautifully.
so i guess i wont want to live up to 70 or 80.
lookin bek at my past 20 years.
i've learnt n grown up a lot.
meeting different kind of people.
havin different kind of experience.
movin from one place to another.
gettin myself used to any environment n anyone i meet.
tats life, isnt it?
keep moving on..
forgettin the past n welcoming the future.
but a lot of memories will stay for sure.
leavin for aus next year. not even sure if im gona cry.
mm, recallin the time when i left sarawak n moved to kl.
i din cry until sch starts, then i started to fall into depression.
i hope tis time around will be a lot better.
perhaps sumtimes i nid to learn to b stronger
n dun cry tat much.
but for me tears represent the most sincere part of me.
it represents wat im feelin inside..
im glad i owex hav a bunch of reli nice frens with me..
through ups n downs..
walkin the journey of life with me.
each n everyone of u, i appreciate.
n every moment i spent with u all i truly cherish.
thank God for blessing me so much.
im reli fortunate compared to a lot of people.
b thankful thankful n thankful.
so, dun u cry tonite. rest ur precious eyes..