happy mothers' day~

thanks zy for helpin me to buy da cake..
thanks kwan n fuei for deliverin da cake to my house..
thanks for handin the mother days' cake for my mom..
n the bday cake for my beloved didi~

happy mothers' day~
love mommy so much =)
miss home so much =(

insecure

curiosity kills a cat.
insecurity kills a woman.

missing home~

i was sitting in front of lappie..
lazyin around, until i saw these 2 pics..
n tears flow again..


i miss home..
i miss daddy mommy n didi =(

天长地久

有没有一双手，握著了便不轻易放手
有没有一个肩膀，可以倚靠一辈子都有安全感
有没有一场拥抱，紧紧的让两个人再也不分开
有没有一段感情，深深刻在心里一辈子不会忘记
有没有一个人，是你用尽了一生力气还舍不得将他遗忘
天长地久，有多久.............

..........

i dun like to see things i dun wana c...
but y do i owex navigate to those pages n
keeeep lookin at those damn things.. =(

untitled

been thinkin..
if i reli mean so much to u..
n if i reli love u tat much too..
wonderin if we r meant to b..
or we r not..
i know u've been tryin hard to please me..
n bear with all my childishness..
i know to stand with my terrible attitude n emotions r hard..
i know it all..
or mayb im just tat greedy..
i nid more love...
i cant feel u at times..
perhaps, it's bout the 4162km distance..
a-g-a-i-n..

Darlings~

i remembered some time in year 2006..
i was reading my form5 autograph book in my room..
tears flow as i went thru one by one,
each of the messages tat frens wrote for me..
memories tat we had, those sweet times..
so much pain tat i felt when i tot our frenships changed..

dad came in da room seein me cryin..
sat down at my bed side n asked bout da matter of me cry..
i said i miss da times i used to had in form4 form5..
dad wiped away my tears n said:
dun b silly, frenships seldom lasts..
frens owex go in n out of ur lives..
tats part of ur growing up process..
as time goes by, u will meet different frens..

deep inside i know, n i think it is same for my gals n boys..
we all appreciate wat we used to hav, our frenships..
moments of truths hav been shared,
our tears n laughters, ups n downs..

it's year 2009 now..
few years hav gone by..
n i remembered da few days before i left kL,
i was tokin to mom about my frens again..
she said shes reli glad n touched tat i met such frens..
genuine frens..
frens who r so willing to sacrifice for each other..
n mom cried on da day i left,
part of da reasons i know it's not becoz of me..
but seeing da frenship tat i had with u all..
my darlings..

if u look around properly..
i guess not everyone can feel wat we feel..
see wat we see in each other..
we've been thru so much..
n in da end, we'r still so used to being dependant on each other..

to my J darlings..
remember how we used to dream bout our future?
bout not gettin married n stayed together in our 'gu po wu'?
even if tats just a silly dream,
i believe we all hope our lives still hav each other,
even if years go by..

n to my other darlings, gals n boys..
i appreciate havin u all in my life,
to lift me up when im down..
to b by my side to share my journey of life..

ter r times when i've not been a reli good fren..
but no matter wat,
i hope n wish tat our frenship lasts till da end..
i heart u all, n i appreciate u all..

miss u ppl heaps..


BTW!!! I FORGOT TO BRING MY AUTOGRAPH BOOK HERE!!!!!! =(
luckily i still hav my huge farewell card. thanks zy.
n da rest dat signed on it =)

with lots of love <3,
baby jac, tata =)

爱太痛

用笑容来把眼泪催眠
笑不能笑哭不敢哭
人不像人鬼不像鬼


能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了

说好的幸福

i feel sth stabbin on me as i read thru ur blog..
n from ter flashbacks go thru my mind again n again..

it has been quite some time
since da day we got closer to each other.
5th of Sept, when i began to feel, loved.

ter was a time when i felt i've found my destiny.
da person who cud b willing to share with me
every moment in my journey of life.

i like da way u owex put a smile on me.
n da way u taught me so many things.
at da same time makin me feel so small,
n make me feel da urge to learn.
n also, da way u owex guide me thru ups n downs.

i do remember da dreams tat we've talked about.
n some promises tat we've made.
i do remember too, our direction in life.

wonder if it's da 4162km tat brings all da changes.
or is it becoz since da beginnin,
im not standing on a solid ground.

there r moments when i got so confused myself
whether wat i've seen, heard n felt r for real..
or r those my own illusions n dreams..

talked to my girl da other day,
she told me tat to b separated now
doesnt mean in da later stage of life we wont meet up again.

perhaps its true.
walkin on a different path with u now,
doesnt mean our paths wont cross again..

perhaps i've chosen a path tat walks away from u..
i've no clue wat leads to dat decision.
perhaps now i just wana let go of everythin
n see da world in a different way..

perhaps, too many perhaps..

but this is life.
whereby we get to gain n lose throughout the whole process.
n from ter, we learn.
im sorry for wat i've done to u.
n im truly thankful tat God sent u to light up my path.

我最幸福的事 当过你的天使

那一阵子有你 美得不像现实

可惜爱不是 童话故事
不能够永远 依赖着王子

鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里。
水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里...

想回到过去。。。

很久没写华语了。。
想念当年爱用华语表达自己的我。。
总觉得华语很适合用来抒发情感，
能够很贴近内心的感觉。。。

最近朋友都好像不怎么开心。。。
当然也包括我在内。。
很郁闷，很多时候只喜欢静静坐着发呆，
然后吃巧克力，所以肥了那么多！！！

星期五晚上帮朋友庆祝生日，去唱k。。。
又想起在KL跟宝贝们唱的日子，很怀念。。。
昨晚另一个朋友生日，去了clubbing..
发现原来我真的喜欢clubbing的感觉。。。
只需要沉醉在音乐和酒里，什么都不必想。。。
尝试了抽烟，虽然不是很喜欢。。。
希望不会再有下一次。。。
感觉自己很颓废。。。

好想回到从前。。。